Monday, September 27, 2004


Ha. The Daily Show just did a segment on South Carolina's ballot referendum to amend the state constitution, which now requires that bars serve liquor out of minibottles. I used to tend bar and I had fun with the minibottles. I developed flamboyant techniques for flinging them into the trash cans. Minibottles have their advantages: They make inventory easy. Yankees think they're cute and buy bunches of them to take home. And because the bottles are sealed until they're served, you don't have to worry about bar owners filling up the top shelf bottles with some house brand junk (minibottle defenders always cite that - they have little faith in the integrity of saloonkeepers, for some reason). Another pro-minibottle argument recently appeared in the letters section of The Sun News; the writer said that the pour spouts on big bottles get all gummed up and unsanitary and unhygienic and grody. I can well imagine - I was the only bartender I ever knew who bothered to clean the pour spouts of the sour mix and the OJ and the like.

But: it's impossible to mix a decent two-liquor drink with minibottles. They take all the art out of mixing drinks. Plus there's always the fear of tourists getting toasted on the unaccustomed hefty doses of liquor - the bottles contain 1.7 ounces. It's customary, at least among the people I hang around with (drunks) to order shots thusly: "One Southern Comfort kamikaze two ways." Or: "Four bullshots eight ways." etc.

It used to be that Utah and South Carolina were the only states with minibottles. Then even Utah got rid of them. South Carolina ought to, but I don't know - the pro-minibottle lobby is pretty feisty. If nothing else this referendum ought to improve the turnout of drunks who vote.

More on minibottles here


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