Friday, November 17, 2006

I am the LORD, motherfucker!

Samuel L. Jackson is doing the voice of the Lord in a new audio version of the Bible.

From Genesis, Chapter 3:

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, "Where the fuck are you?"

He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

And he said, "Nigger, who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the motherfucking tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"

The man said, "The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."

Then the LORD God said to the woman, "Bitch, what is this shit you have done?"

The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this shit, CURSED are you above all the livestock and all the wild animals! You will crawl on your motherfucking belly and you will eat SHIT all the days of your motherfucking LIFE!"


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