Saturday, December 23, 2006

Local Wankery: Do Not Taunt the Happy Fun Thad Viers

Hey, remember Thad Viers? Well, he's back:

COLUMBIA - Members of a special House subcommittee heard plenty of complaints Wednesday about the state of the S.C. Transportation Department, one day after embattled executive director Elizabeth Mabry retired.


At the hearing, several people complained that road construction was based on political favoritism, and no standards existed by which certain projects were chosen over others.

"I'm for a rational process that is transparent to the public," said Jane Lareau, project director of the Coastal Conservation League. "We need a framework, a selection process, that allows the department to analyze objectively which projects should move forward ... without political influence."

As an example, Lareau complained about the priority given to the I-73 project in the PeeDee. She said upgrading I-95, dealing with congestion on I-26, or repairing some of the state's "2,000 below-standard bridges" might come first.

That brought Rep. Thad Viers, who isn't on the panel, to his feet. He told his fellow lawmakers that "DOT has unfairly become the whipping boy." Viers, R-Myrtle Beach, said the I-73 project was needed as a hurricane evacuation route and that "DOT ... is a great organization."

He charged that many of the complaints came from those who had "a hidden agenda to stop growth at all costs."

Actually, Rep. Viers never went away. Not only did the superlative young Republican win re-election to his South Carolina General Assembly seat, he didn't suffer any serious consequences from his cell phone sock puppetry.

While yours truly was, er, on sabbatical, Mr. Viers's cell phone harassment case came up for trial before a Richland County, SC magistrate judge, who on his own decided that Mr. Viers was a good candidate for "pre-trial intervention" ("PTI"), meaning that if Mr. Viers performs a little community service, he won't have a criminal record.

Now I don't have a problem with PTI for non-violent crimes, and if the cell phone message allegations are true, Mr. Viers didn't commit any violence: He only threatened to do so. However, I had previously been under the impression, since SC went to the trouble to enact one of those stupid "victim's rights" amendments to its Constitution, that the victim of an alleged crime had to consent to PTI before a defendant would be eligible to participate in PTI. But apparently I was wrong (and it's a good thing - I don't think crime victims should have veto power over the disposition of a criminal case, but then I am not a Republican). So, Mr. Viers got "PTI", which means, according to the local newspaper stories I read (stories now sadly now available online only for a fee), that what The Sun News described as "hours" of tapes of Mr. Viers' alleged threatening calls will be available only after the PTI community service is completed.

So, readers, another year will pass before we get to listen to Mr. Viers threatening to sodomize his estranged spouse's paramour's mother (at least, that is what the estranged spouse's paramour said Mr. Viers did, as reported by the Sun News - I myself have not heard the tapes).

If my name was "Atrios," I'd put this blog entry under the heading "Bobo's world." But I digress.

Perhaps you have read this far and are thinking, "Even if Mr. Viers DID do all these things, shouldn't we let bygones be bygones? It was a youthful indiscretion; should Mr. Viers have to endure taunting for the rest of his life for this?"

To which I say, yes, eventually, and no. However. I think there should be an informal statute of limitations, so to speak, on the taunting of public officials for their youthful indiscretions. After they've done their penance and enough time has passed, we should all just move on, in your humble correspondent's opinion. However, the length of the taunting period may vary according to the subject's age and position at the time of the infraction, the subject's subsequent's accomplishments, and the amount of time that has passed since the infraction.

My personal calculator of the taunting period is idiosyncratic, subjective, and biased. I would say that the period for taunting Dubya for his "youthful" DUI has expired. Imho. The period for taunting him for his failure to disclose said DUI is still open however. Arguably. Imho, again. Clinton still has a few legitimate taunting years left to endure on Monica. Imho, of course.

With respect to Mr. Viers, he was an elected public official when the [alleged] misconduct occurred, he's a jerk, and the misconduct (threatening to sodomize his estranged wife's paramour's mother, allegedly} is both severe and funny in an extremely sick way. Imho. It's only funny 'cause no one actually got hurt, of course. In a physical way. Also, Mr. Viers takes money from SunCruz Casinos, which runs a casino boat out of Little River, SC, to lobby local officials. This while Mr. Viers is an elected rep. to the state government.

So, all things considered, it is my opinion, Mr. Viers should be prepared to deal with a little taunting for his (alleged) cell phone indiscretions for at least the next five years. At least.

Shorter Pat Conroy*

"I regret my failure to fight in a flawed, stupid, and corrupt war."

Even Shorter Pat Conroy:

"I wish I had killed some gooks when I had the chance."

Seriously, this Pat Conroy essay makes me glad that I never got around to reading any of his novels (let's say I had "other priorities").

But I can't argue with this:

"I now revere words like democracy, freedom, the right to vote, and the grandeur of the extraordinary vision of the founding fathers."

I too revere words like "the" and "to." Imagine if they didn't exist. We'd all be talking like Tarzan: "I go store now."

*"Shorter" concept stolen from busybusybusy.

Take your "happy holidays" and SHOVE'EM!

I'm sorry, did you just say "happy holidays?" To ME? Were you talking to ME? Well, you must be talkin' to me 'cause I'm the only one here.

"Happy holidays," you say? "Happy FUCKIN' holidays?" Well, I just have one question for you, Mr. Anal-Sex-loving-secular-Jew-atheist-lieberal: Why do you hate the baby Jesus?

I'm talkin' about the War for Christmas, bitch. It's ON, baby. It is so ON.

My schedule does not permit me to fight War for Civilization in Iraq, but fortunately I DO have time to fight the War for Christmas, by loudly taking offense at people who do not use the proper words when extending seasonal good wishes to me.

A few days ago, I naively purchased a CD of Christmas standards. Imagine my disgust when I played the CD only to learn it contained a song called "Happy Holidays," recorded by one "Bing Crosby." If Mr. Crosby didn't hate Christ, would he have recorded a "Christmas" song that didn't even mention Christ in the title? I think the answer is obvious. I don't know much about Mr. Crosby, other than that he's a dead singer, but it's clear from this song that Bing Crosby was an early insurgent, if you will, in the War on Christmas. So I invite all right-minded people, including Mr. C.B. Berry of North Myrtle Beach, Mr. Dan Riehl, and Mr. Bill O'Reilly to join me on Christmas day in a ceremonial smashing of Bing Crosby CD's.

If you love the baby Jesus, meet me at the corner of Gervais and Main, in Columbia, South Carolina, at 12:00 noon on Christmas Day. If you don't show . . . well, I'll understand. I'll understand that you hate Jesus.


Thursday, December 14, 2006


Fix yourself a drink before you read this:

A Socastee man accused of attacking his wife with an ax was found guilty Tuesday of criminal domestic violence in a jury trial which proceeded against the victim's wishes, reported the office of 15th Circuit Solicitor J. Gregory Hembree on Wednesday.

A prepared statement from Hembree's office indicates Steven Rollinson was convicted of continuously striking his wife of 11 years with an axe during a June 5th domestic dispute.

Court records show two witnesses saw the victim staggering down the front steps of the crime scene.

She suffered the following injuries, records show: A gapping wound from the left eye socket through the lip and into the chin, a broken lower jaw bone, loss of lower teeth, deafness in left ear, loss of sight in left eye, left side of face paralyzed, permanent scarring to left side of face, three gapping wounds to left arm and left arm paralyzed.

Reports state she was flown to the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston, where she remained on life support for two days and spent 12 days total.

Despite her extensive injuries, Hembree's office reports, the victim refused to testify against her husband and maintained the argument which predicated the attack was her fault.

I mean, Be-JUS:

Court records state Rollinson testified the victim's wounds were self-inflicted; that the victim sliced her face with the ax and had fallen on it several times.


Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Separated at birth?

Jeff Greenfield:

Mahmoud's twin

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad:

Greenfield's twin

I'm. Just. Sayin'.


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