Monday, March 08, 2004
Some people say Cheney is, increasingly, a liability to Bush, and rumor has it Bush may dump Cheney and replace him with someone seen to be more palatable.
But who would get the unenviable task of telling the fearsome Cheney he's off the ticket? I would submit that only one man is up to the job: Cheney.
[Cheney descends into the bowels of an underground bunker. He passes through a series of steel doors which clang shut behind him, until he finally enters the innermost lair of Cheney. ]
Cheney: Dick.
Cheney: Rrrraaaaaarrrrrgh.
Cheney: Dick, Rove and Hughes and me and the rest of the boys have been talking, and we all agree: You're a drag on the ticket, Dick. You've got to step down.
Cheney: GAARRRRGGHHHHH! RRRAAAARRRRRRRGH!
Cheney: Goddamn it, Dick, you know it's true. You've got no goddamn charisma. You scare people.
Cheney: AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHH! [picks up jar containing human heart suspended in fluid, hurls it at Cheney, who ducks just in time. Jar shatters against steel door.]
Cheney: Now goddamn it, Dick, be a goddamn man about it. And put down that liver. You know how hard it is to get a hold of those things.
Cheney: GAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGHH!! [hurls jar with liver; it smashes against steel wall]
Cheney: Don't make me use the goddamn cattle prod, Dick.
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But who would get the unenviable task of telling the fearsome Cheney he's off the ticket? I would submit that only one man is up to the job: Cheney.
[Cheney descends into the bowels of an underground bunker. He passes through a series of steel doors which clang shut behind him, until he finally enters the innermost lair of Cheney. ]
Cheney: Dick.
Cheney: Rrrraaaaaarrrrrgh.
Cheney: Dick, Rove and Hughes and me and the rest of the boys have been talking, and we all agree: You're a drag on the ticket, Dick. You've got to step down.
Cheney: GAARRRRGGHHHHH! RRRAAAARRRRRRRGH!
Cheney: Goddamn it, Dick, you know it's true. You've got no goddamn charisma. You scare people.
Cheney: AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHH! [picks up jar containing human heart suspended in fluid, hurls it at Cheney, who ducks just in time. Jar shatters against steel door.]
Cheney: Now goddamn it, Dick, be a goddamn man about it. And put down that liver. You know how hard it is to get a hold of those things.
Cheney: GAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGHH!! [hurls jar with liver; it smashes against steel wall]
Cheney: Don't make me use the goddamn cattle prod, Dick.
