Friday, August 13, 2004

A Few Sighs from HELL

Satan, out going to and fro in the world, has been too busy to post on his blog of darkness. He sent me this dispatch from Florida and asked me to post it. I'm always willing to do Satan's bidding, so here it is:

TAMPA, Fla. (AP) - With Hurricane Charley zeroing in on Florida's west coast Friday, the presidential candidates flew into Tampa to personally help the citizens evacuate their homes. "Watch your step, Mrs. Campbell," said John Kerry politely as he helped an elderly voter into his private helicopter. "I'm scared that we're going to go home and nothing is going to be there," 20-year-old Amanda Kellogg said as she packed up her belongings. "Don't worry Mandy," a reassuring President Bush offered, "If your home is damaged or destroyed I'll make sure that federal relief money will pay to build you a new home twice as better as this one." The candidates planned to spend about 10 hours criss-crossing the projected path of the category 3 hurricane. "It's a tight race and people don't forget this type of personal kindness," political analyst Bob Nelson said, "It could all come down to a handfull of votes in Florida once again -- every vote counts." About 6.5 million of Florida's 17 million voters are in Charley's projected path.



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