RoguePlanet

I don't know who this chick is

but I'm her fan. It's not often that a letter to the editor of The Sun News makes me laugh out loud. Here in its entirety is this local chick's letter to the editor of The Sun News:

On Sept. 1, I read [the news story] about a widespread [Horry County Police] raid that occurred in some of the adult clubs along the Strand. The effort resulted in the righteous booking of several dancers whose pasties were "too sheer" to meet the requirements of the law.

I often find myself offended by the mere thought that someone might be naked within five miles of my home - or worse, that somebody might be more naked than somebody else. Still, I have a few academic questions to pose to the lawmakers and enforcers of Myrtle Beach.

First, what is the purpose of an adult nightclub? Perhaps I can field this one for you myself. I had to ask my mommy and daddy about it, but they explained, and I think I understand, that sometimes people like to see other people naked. We have these nice little places that people can go to like Danielle's Dungeon (an eye-catching structure on the edge of Myrtle Beach) and Thee Doll House (right down the street from my house). There, these perverts - I mean people - can enjoy the fleshly splendors that so entice their slithering, black hearts. (Note the sarcasm).

However, because of something called "zoning," some places have different rules than others. Now this is where I get confused, and my mommy and daddy can't help me anymore. On one end of town, the girls are allowed to dance topless. A few blocks away, they're not - unless the patrons bring their own beer. And the difference between topless and not topless is often little more than a round plastic disc about an inch in diameter.

So what I'm not understanding is this: Are these places not in fact adult nightclubs? For instance, is there a ghost of a chance that a 10-year-old child will ever be permitted to pass through the entrance to Danielle's? Would it make a difference if the dancers' [rear-end-exposing] chaps had a mesh covering? Logic tells me that the answer is no.

So why are we so picky? And why is this such a priority for the Horry County Police Department? My point is this: Our laws permit the existence of these establishments.

Let's not kid ourselves about what they're there for. I do understand some prostitution was apprehended during the raid, and I appreciate that. But as for debatably opaque pasties, can we please give it a rest - instead of arrest?

But seriously, [what went] through my mind as I read about the valiant officers who conducted these raids after months of tireless surveillance was this: Who are these brave souls who have selflessly volunteered for such an assignment? And when do they get a break?

(I blogged on 9/1 about this raid of "adult nightclubs" in Myrtle Beach; I'd post the link to the blog entry here, but I can't figure out how the permalinks work in Blogger)