Thursday, September 08, 2005

Generic television interview with generic Republican official or politician

REPORTER: "Sir, do you feel that FEMA could have been better prepared for a storm of this magnitude in that FEMA did not even have any people on the ground until after the storm hit, despite the ample advance warning?"

GENERIC GOP OFFICIAL: "[Katie/Ted/Paula], now is not the time to be pointing the finger of blame at the mayor of New Orleans for not providing a fleet of busses to ship tens of thousands of people to points outside the storm zone. Now is the time to be helping those people who need help, rescuing people, and we're working very hard at that. "

REPORTER: "Sir, how can you sit there and tell me that FEMA just today learned that thousands of people are stranded at the convention center when we've been reporting on it for DAYS? Good Lord, sir, Harry Connick has been down there. . . "

GGOP: "[Paula/Katie/Anderson], it's not time to play the blame game, to discuss whether it was appropriate for the governor, the governor lady, to be getting a pedicure and a bikini wax while the storm hit. Right now we've got to work to do, we've got people to feed and we're feeding them, or in some instances deeming them fed . . . '

REPORTER [interrupting]: "Sir, what are you talking about? No food has been delivered to the convention center! No food, no water! Those people are thirsty, they're hungry!"

GGOP: "[Ted/Kyra/Matt], we delivered 4984 meals today to the Superdome. The people there, they have been deemed fed."

REPORTER: "Sir, how do you account for the lack of communication between FEMA officials and local authorities, who were on TV begging and weeping and pleading for help?"

GGOP: "[Katie/Brian/Paula], now is not the time to be playing the blame game, to be wondering if it was appropriate for Mayor Nagin to be engaging in homosexual orgies while his people drowned. There will be time for that later, others will do the analysis, but right now we've got assets on the ground and we're focussed on doing our job and helping people."

REPORTER: "Sir, can you tell me that you're qualified for this job? Because you've gotten fired from your last two jobs. In fact as I look at your resume it seems to me that your only qualification is that you're a friend of a friend of the president and a campaign donor."

GGOP: "[Ted/Anderson/Charlie], we just are not interested in doing any blaming right now, in pointing the finger of blame at the governor of Louisiana who was personally performing late term abortions when this storm hit. Later we can discuss these issues, whether Mayor Nagin and Governor Blanco violated any laws or how many laws they violated, but right now we're just feeding the people, saving the people, doing our job."

REPORTER: "Sir, a number of Democrats have been harping shrilly about FEMA's allegedly tardy [makes quote marks with fingers] response to this when clearly everything was Nagin's fault and Blanco's. Just today, Nancy Pelosi claimed that mutilated bodies were found in the Superdome! Given that, sir, how do you . . . how do you plan to work with these Democrats who seem to be totally divorced from reality?"

GGOP: "It's not easy, Jeff. Say . . . what are you doing later?"

REPORTER: "Sir, do you feel that the federal government's response to this disaster should be investigated?"


REPORTER: "Sir, what are you going to do to ensure that we are adequately prepared for the next disaster or God forbid, the next terrorist attack?"

TOM DELAY: "It was the Democrats' fault! The Democrats! Those two Democrats, that black guy and that broad! It was their fault! All theirs! They did it! Look at them, not us!"


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?