Thursday, December 22, 2005

Die, Barbie, die!

When I read this story, I laughed with recognition, because it brought back fond memories of the Barbie I hanged with a noose when I was about 10 years old. And the other Barbies whom I decapitated. I thought it was funny. Indeed, I was "quite gleeful" about it.

The lovely Desi, however, is appalled: She asks, "Am I getting really old, or are children getting to be really twisted? Or is it something else?"

It's something else, Desi! Namely, that little kids merely want to give Barbie, that plastic slut, her just desserts. Look at her. She has it coming, the tiny-footed tart.

There's nothing warped about it. Children who abuse Barbies grow up to be productive, perfectly normal adults. Why, just look at me - I'm hardly really twisted. Well, maybe a little twisted. But not the type of twisted that would hurt people or animals. I suspect that a future study will reveal that youthful Barbie-torturers are way less likely to become serial killers than children who like to hurt animals. In fact, I'll bet Barbie abuse is a healthy way of venting aggression . . .


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