Monday, April 17, 2006

Is our children learning?

I couldn't decide whether the Barbara Bush Humanitarian of the Week Award or the brand-new George W. Bush Logician of the Week Award would be more appropriate for this South Carolina social studies teacher. She attended the Columbia, South Carolina immigration rally last week and posted her account on freeweb. Upon reflection, I've decided to give the lady BOTH awards. A historic first.

Showing up at the rally with a sign reading "Illegal Immigration is ILLEGAL," Teach proceeded to win friends and influence people.

A woman was holding a sign that read " Who is not an immigrant?" "I'm not and my husband is not" I answered. With a very thick accent, she asked where I went to school. I queried what that had to do with anything. "Perhaps they did not do a good job in social studies. You don't know what an immigrant is." "Sweetie," I replied, " I TEACH social studies. I know what an immigrant is and I am not one. I have ancestors who WERE LEGAL immigrants."

So that's what they're teaching in social studies these days: Know your immigrants. Back when I was in middle school, social studies class consisted of watching films on current events, or to be precise, events that were current 20 years prior to my entering middle school. The films were good because they enabled the class and the coach/teacher to nap.

Anyway, our friendly teacher was minding her own business and everyone else's, when a reporter decides to interview her:

Before I got too far into the group, I was accosted by an ABC cameraman who asked if I would speak with him. I obliged and he was very polite and respectful in his questioning. As I was speaking a moonbat talking loudly on a cell phone leaned in near the camera and said, " There are a thousand people here and they are interviewing the one racist."

Gee, where would anyone get the idea our correspondent is a racist?

Monday was a bright beautiful day in Columbia. It was marred by several thousand immigrants ( estimates range from 3000 to 7000 - poor math skills no doubt) who marched to the statehouse steps.

Yeah. Nothing ruins a beautiful day quicker than a bunch of dirty immigrants.


Two black men, one I recognized as a local Democrat official, were registering people to vote.

Oh. Well, in fairness to her, I'm sure she had good reason for pointing out the race of the two men . . . I just can't figure out what it was.

As the crowd left I stood silently facing them with my sign raised high. They had to pass near me to get to the crosswalk. A police officer came over and said that he had received reports that I was harassing people.

Harassing people? Goodness, why would anyone think . . .

I noticed a young skinny pale curly haired lad with plaid seersucker pants holding a sign that said " we pick your vegetables" This guy looked like the last thing he might have picked was a nose. I asked what it was he picked. He sneered at me and said his grandparents were migrant workers. "Really," I asked, " we they LEGAL aliens?" He refused to answer.


All the above is what won our correspondent the Barbara Bush Humanitarian of the Week Award. But this is what secured the George W. Bush Logician of the Week Award:

I watched dozens of aliens jaywalk at the intersection and cut between cars. Why be surprised when laws are irrelevant that laws are ignored?

Perhaps you are wondering, how did our correspondent know these jaywalkers were aliens? Well, silly, it was at an IMMIGRATION RALLY. Of course they were all aliens. What else would they be? Only aliens would attend an immigration rally. See the logic?

Plus, they were probably brown.

Oh, and American citizens never jaywalk.

Update: On a related note, check out this wankerific cartoon by The State's Robert Arial. Why do these people assume everyone at an immigration rally is an illegal immigrant?


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